As I wrote in my previous article, I am on the waiting list for treatment of my autism. I guess it’s not really treatment, in the sense that autism is a neurobiological disorder, or better said difference and can’t be cured.
Honestly, I have no clue what to expect, but what I want is healthy coping mechanisms that allow me to thrive better.
Sure I’ve managed to get through my life without a diagnosis for many years, but at what cost? Are my strategies merely ways of surviving life or are they actually beneficial? Since I started my study to become a counselor myself, I have gained new insights into my coping mechanisms, and strategies. I’ve found that some are very helpful and are even known as therapeutic interventions.
Before I begin describing to you what these are, I have to admit that I do use prescribed medication for my meltdowns and sensory processing issues. I have been prescribed Haloperidol (2 mg) and it has been very helpful for me in better controlling my anxiety, I don’t have full blown meltdowns any more and I can better regulate my sensory issues.
I don’t believe medication is the only solution to my problems and so I want to tell you about my other strategies to deal with my autism:
1. Self Reflection
“An important skill to achieve in life is to be able to reflect upon yourself and a given situation with honesty and clarity.”
To reflect upon yourself is to think about what you did, why you did it and possible alternatives for that behaviour. Not only can you use this to tackle negative behaviour or situations, but also positive ones. By regularly reflecting upon yourself, you achieve a natural awareness about who you are and why you do certain things.
Like the great Ancient Egyptians (yes, they were truly the first to proclaim this insight) said ‘Know Yourself’! Self reflection does just that. You may also want to try out strategy number 2 and 3 to support and monitor your progress.
2. Keeping a Journal
I have been a lifelong writer.
I started journaling in my diary at the age of 9 and it has profoundly been a beneficial aspect of my everyday live. It helps me clear my thoughts, work through emotions and be more goal oriented. Looking back, it has also allowed me to enhance my ability to self reflect better on any given situation. It is my most cherished possession and gives me the freedom to truly express myself without anyone else interfering with it.
“In the privacy of my journal pages I can express all my emotions and feelings without being misunderstood by others and I can explore situations and alternatives to my thinking.”
3. ABC model of (ir)rational Thinking
I’ve learned this skill more recently through my counseling classes. The ABC-model was created by Albert Ellis in the 1950’s before cognitive behavioral therapy. The model contains the following steps:
A(ctivating event) is the situation you find yourself in.
B(elief) the opinion or conviction you have about that event
Emotional C(onsequences) are the emotions that follow after a certain event happened.
Now, the key in using this model is to understand that your Beliefs about an Activating Event are the actual creators of the Emotional Consequences. According to Ellis our Beliefs are either rational (I dropped my spoon, that can happen) or irrational (I dropped my spoon, this always happens to me, I am so stupid). Based on those beliefs, your emotions are activated because you interpreted them accordingly. Now let’s say you had an irrational belief and you started feeling sad and self loathing.
The next step in the model is to D(ispute) your irrational thoughts and replace them with more rational ones. Instead of saying something negative about yourself or the situation, try replacing it with a more neutral response.
This will take some practice, but it will lead you to the next step of E(ffect) which is the point where you want to be, where your thoughts are rational and have a positive well balanced effect on your behavior and cognition.
4. Stimming
To stim or not to stim, that is for many autistics the question.
When diagnosed with autism late in life, you know that certain behaviours are not appreciated by your surroundings. Stimming, self stimulating behaviour, is, for many, one of them.
“Stimming can be a very helpful tool to self regulate over stimulation from our surroundings. It can calm us down. It can comfort us. It can help us process internal and external thoughts, feelings and perceptions.”
There are many forms of stimming, not just the body rocking or hand flapping, that most are familiar with. Stimming can use any and all of the senses. I am still exploring what kind of stims I prefer and how they make me feel but some of my favorites are visual stims, verbal stims, smelling stims and “piano finger” stims.
Although I don’t stim publicly as much as I need it, I am, however, becoming less and less worried about the opinions of others and use non-intrusive stims in public, like stroking my suede bag to comfort me or tapping my feet on the floor to calm me.
5. Artistic Expression
At times, I find myself at a loss for intensity.
I know what I’m feeling and I have the words to describe them, but to convey them in a meaningful way just seems to diminish the actual feeling and, so, ever since childhood I resorted to artistic expression. I can sing, draw or write poems to express myself and it makes me feel more complete and at easy with those, at times intense, feelings.
Words have power, but art is more powerful than words and allows more intimacy to be expressed.
“Although artistic expressions are not a tool for everyone, they should be an accepted way of communicating for neurodivergents.”
6. Meditative Visualisations
Although I don’t do meditation in the most familiar way, I do have my own form.
I am a highly visual person and in my teenage years I started practicing visualisations. In my mindseye I can see whatever I want and I use it to calm and comfort myself.
For example; when I feel sad and emotional I visualise an older woman, a mother figure that wraps her arms around me and strokes my head. I keep this visualisation in my mind until the feelings are lessened from their heightened state.
I also use this to organize my knowledge in my mind and actively seek a solution to a problem. I call it meditative visualisation because it is both of them combined to me. If you are highly visual like me this can be an interesting option for you to try.
7. Energy Banking
This idea comes from Tony Attwood in his book Exploring Depression and Beating the Blues.
Energy Banking is an easy way to find out how you invest your time between energy-giving and energy-costing activities. When you feel depressed, overstimulated or anxious, it is possible that you are banking your energy wrongfully.
1. To become aware make a list of things that give you energy and a list of things that cost you energy.
2. After you have done this give your calendar a good look. Do you spend most of your time on energy-costing activities?
3. How about planning some of your energy-giving activities into your calendar? Try to balance your daily activity between those two and thus becoming more balanced in your everyday living.
I, personally, need more energy-giving activities to be able to deal with the energy-costing ones. I am not ashamed of this and I indulge in a 70 % energy-giving to 30% energy-costing ratio when ever I can.
8. Indulging in Special Interests
“Autism and special interests are like what water is to the ocean.”
It is a huge aspect of our ability to cope with life.
The benefits of special interests for an autistic person are, in my opinion, many. Amongst them are prevention from depression, possible career opportunities, stress reliever and positive self image.
Whatever the subject of your cherished special interest is, indulge in it. Relish in its marvelous joy that it brings you. You may not be able to share it with everyone in the world, due to lack of interest from their side, but never mind that. Your interest is special because it is your interest!
9. Connecting With Others Through Social Media
Before I got diagnosed with autism, I spent years feeling alone and without friends.
I’ve never been good at connecting on a friendship level with my peers and have been left out on many occasions. It wasn’t until my autism diagnosis that I became more active on social media. I wasn’t looking for friends but, instead, insight into my diagnosis. I started connecting with other autistics and had conversations about all things autism related.
“I’ve never been good at connecting on a friendship level with my peers and have been left out on many occasions.”
I share personal experiences on my blog and Twitter and people recognise these aspects and respond in positive ways. After a year of social media connecting, I can say that I have a group of people who I consider my online friends and fans. I never thought this possible, but it just happened and realising this fills my heart with joy.
Thanks to social media I have found my tribe and finally made friends along the way. The autistic online community is, in general, supportive of each other and can be a good way of gaining support, understanding, and mutual interests to talk about. You might end up making friends as well!
All of these strategies are my way of coping with the world and my autism. I have used some for many years and others only recently. I can only advise you to try and find your own coping mechanisms to improve your life.
If you have other strategies that might be helpful to other readers, please leave a comment.
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