In the past few years I have had several depressions. Depression is, next to anxiety, one of the most common comorbid conditions in autism. According to research by Tony Attwood:
“every 2 in 3 adults with autism will have depression and 1 in 3 will attempt suicide.”
When I read about these numbers I was shocked and felt sad. Why are these numbers so high in autistic adults? There is no single answer to this question. What I did find out was that autistic depression is different from neurotypical depression and so I want to share with you this knowledge and give you additional tips to help you get through those dark days when they arrive.
How do you Recognize Depression?
Depression can start very gradually, like a silent killer or suddenly as an attack. Below is a list of signals for an upcoming depression.
Moodiness that is not characteristic
Increasing irritation and frustration
Difficulty accepting small personal criticisms (feedback)
Tendency to spend less time family and friends
Loss of interest in food, sexual activities, sports and other enjoyable activities
Insomnia
Prefer to stay at home
Increasing health problems
Slowing down thoughts and actions
A gloomy, depressed feeling for longer than 2 weeks
Regularly experience feelings of helplessness, apathy, fear, emptiness, hopelessness and guilt
Poor concentration
Difficulty making decisions
Don’t worry about yourself or others (you don’t care)
Preoccupation with gloomy thoughts
Being critical about your own abilities
Not being able to experience other people’s joy
Think about the benefits of suicide
(source: Tony Attwood, Exploring Depression and Beating the Blues)
Reasons for Becoming Depressed
Just a little bit about the reasons for becoming depressed before we get started with the actual tips. It is important to be able to see and understand the causes of your depression, so that you can use appropriate aids.
A traumatic experience
Social isolation and loneliness
Feeling rejected and not respected
Poverty
Socializing is tiring
Have low self worth
Being exhausted (energy loss)
Internalizing and believing false criticism and harassment (seeing bullying behavior as deserved)
Focus on everything that can go wrong
Just have an eye for everything you do wrong
Negative self-criticism
Believing that change is impossible and unreachable
Not being able to handle certain incentives
Receiving a psychological diagnosis
Family history of depression (genetic predisposition)
Emotional (over) sensitivity
(source: Tony Attwood, Exploring Depression and Beating the Blues)
Now that we know what the symptoms and causes can be, it is easier to recognize your depression and identify it early. In addition, it is easier to choose from the following tips for the options that you can use to tackle your depression.
Tips to Tackle Autistic Depression
1. Write in a Gratitude Journal
When you are depressed, it is difficult to see through the negativity and to remember the positive emotions and experiences from the past. By keeping a gratitude diary you can read back about all those things for which you have been grateful and to help you to recall positive experiences from the past. Start when you feel comfortable and write down everything you are grateful for. It can be as simple as ‘I am grateful that I woke up today’ or ‘I am grateful that I made myself dinner today.’ Do this daily. When you feel you are becoming depressed start reading in your diary to remind yourself of the positive experiences in your life.
2. Energy Banking
Energy banking is a simple way to find out what you spend the most time on. If you spend too much time on energy-costing activities, this can lead to depression. When you are depressed, it is often the energy-giving activities that are the first to be skipped. To become more aware of this and to deal with it, you can start energy banking. You keep a list with two columns with activities that give you energy and which costs you energy. After you’ve made a list with these activities then you can look at your weekly activities in your agenda. Do you spend all your time solely on energy-costing activities? Then consciously make a change in your activities and also plan your energizing activities in your agenda.
3. Stimming!
Stimming is fiddling with your hands, legs, a toy or other object to calm yourself. Although no scientific research has been done (as far as I know) into the effects of stim behavior, it is clear that autistics worldwide are doing it and that it helps them to better regulate their emotions. It can reduce stress, prevent a meltdown in anxious situations and distract negative thoughts.
4. Make Art
Sometimes it is difficult to express your emotions verbally. Fortunately, there are several roads that lead to Rome and you can choose to express your feelings in other forms. Are you good at music, drawing or writing? Then try to capture your feelings in your creative way. Do you want help with this? Then look for a Creative Therapist or creative workshop in your area. Don’t think you yourself to be creative? That doesn’t matter. This assignment is not about putting down a masterpiece, but about making a connection with your (sub) conscious through creation. Colors, sounds and words can make and break, but they can also give you an insight into your personal feelings and help you experience positive emotions from self expressing.
5. Enjoy your Special Interests
As mentioned earlier, autistics will lose contact with their special interest during a depression. However, it is important to encourage yourself to continue to follow and implement your special interests. It helps against the mood complaints and can help you prevent further development of depression. You could (just like me) consider creating a blog or vlog about your special interests. This way you will regularly tell the world about your favorite subject(s). This gives pleasure, meaning and can reduce depression.
6. Make Future Plans
With depression, the concept of the long term disappears. Only the darkness of the here and now is present. It is therefore important to make a future plan for yourself during a non-depressive period. This plan about the future gives direction to your life and during your depression you have a guideline for the direction you want to go. You can create a digital document on your computer or mobile phone so that you can view it anytime and anywhere. You can also write a handwritten letter to yourself and hang it on the wall or send it to yourself in an envelope with the instruction to open it as soon as you are depressed.
These are the tips I have used myself during depressive episodes and they have helped me get through the darkest times. If you feel your depression is getting worse please contact your GP for guidance.
“There is no shame in getting medication to deal with depression or get referred to a psychologist. You deserve to get help and get through your depression in one piece!”
