I love to laugh. I’m not the class clown type, typically, but I giggle a lot and love to make others do the same. In fact, I recently took the VIA character strengths test and one of my top strengths was humor. It got me thinking of how I utilize this strength to live a better life with my wonky brain. Primarily I do so by using humor as an interrupter, as an alternative, and to gain perspective.
INTERRUPTER
Whenever a negative spiral begins to gain momentum, it can be hard for me to think my way out of it. I might be able to recognize it’s not rational to keep thinking about the thing or to realize the mood swing I’m experiencing isn’t proportional to what happened, but trying to actually stop those obsessive thoughts or calm down from those big emotions by reaching the conclusion I should is a whole different ball game. A game I usually lose.
“Instead of playing that game, I’ve started trying to distract myself back to the present where I can reground myself. I do this by interrupting that spiral with laughter”
I have a YouTube playlist with videos each four minutes or less on hand (I try to keep them short so they are used solely to interrupt and not to numb). My favorite is “inspirational basketball video” by Gus Johnson. For some reason, that video always makes me giggle. And giggling helps me let go of the need to keep cycling through the same unhelpful thoughts over and over. I can move on with my day.
ALTERNATIVE
Humor can also be used as an alternative to negative emotions, particularly frustration. I’m not saying we should repress our emotions. As a deep feeler, my attempts to do so aren’t typically successful anyway, but even if they are, it’s very temporary. I think it’s so important to let ourselves feel. However, there are times when humor as an alternative is possible and good for me.
It’s easier to laugh at myself for locking myself out of the work building (again) than it is for me to get mad at myself and punish myself with a lecture. My day is going to be a more positive one if I choose to laugh (internally) about the tiny thing one of my two year old students is having an enormous meltdown over rather than get frustrated at the student or be hard on myself for not being able to solve the impossible situation. I’m going to have a better relationship with my husband if I can laugh at some of the small annoying (and harmless) things he does rather than let them set me off every time.
PERSPECTIVE
Finally, humor is a way in which I help myself gain perspective. For example, if I’m worrying nonstop about something that’s going to potentially happen in a few days, I might say to myself, “You know, Alissa, you could get hit by a bus before that thing even has a chance to happen. Might as well spend our last few bus-free days in the moment!” (If the thing you’re worried about is getting hit by a bus this might not be the strategy for you…)
“Blowing a situation completely out of proportion to the point of ridiculous is another way I use humor to gain perspective.”
For example, when my husband and I were in college and just “talking,” he drove nine hours to come visit me at my summer internship in another state. I was so nervous beforehand. So I texted my mom about all the things I was worried about. They started out understandable (“What if I get so nervous I don’t know what to say?” and then escalated quickly (“What if we drive somewhere and then I get so nervous I forget how to take off my seat belt and I have to live in a car for the rest of my life and never get to experience walking again???”). Once I got myself laughing out loud, I instantly felt more at ease.
Another example is whenever I’m throwing myself a pity party over a bad day.
“Yes, sometimes we need to wallow and feel and process. And, no, invalidating our pain because other people are hurting more than we are is not effective or healthy. OBVIOUSLY.”
But some days, I personally really do just need to satirically say, “I can’t think of one person in the entire world who has it worse than I do right now. This is quite frankly the epitome of human suffering and how one person can bare so much pain, I don’t know! I” When my awful situation is feeling drained from a busy day, those statements are blatantly not true. Such absurdity makes me chuckle. And sometimes laughter helps me gain perspective in ways seriousness can’t.
What about you? Do you use humor as a tool with your wonky brain?
