“For me, anxiety has become part of who I am, I wear the badge with pride, would I prefer not to have anxiety? Yes of course, but it is what it is and so I am learning to live with it comfortably, well as much as possible.“
Sometimes it works to my advantage, there’s nothing like not being able to settle and having lots of nervous energy to get things done. Cupboards have been tidied, bathrooms have been painted and the house has been cleaned all in the name of anxiety!
My desire to have things ‘just so’ may be part of my anxiety but it does at least mean that my children have had amazing birthday parties over the years and my Christmas and Halloween décor is really something to behold!
“Part of mental health is acceptance and liking who you are as a person. I can say that despite my anxiety, I like who I am. I am by no means perfect, who is, but I treat people with compassion and respect and I truly care. What can be better than that?”
Now let me tell you about my beautiful and rather incredible God daughter. This wonderful little girl was diagnosed with non-verbal autism at the age of three. She is now six years old and blowing our minds with her ability.
“For a non-verbal child she has so much to say for herself.”
My daughter is her best friend, when they first met, they made a very special connection. So special in fact that my God daughter uttered the words “I love you” to my daughter before she had her own mother.. you can imagine how that went down!!
As her speech develops, this beautiful little girl becomes more and more bossy, she definitely takes after her mother! There is something very special about her telling you all about her summer holiday as we are driving along, but nothing beats her telling me that she loves me, because you know she really means it.
Of course with this amazing speech comes the downside, her parents are learning to watch what they say in front of her because it is really hard to not laugh when she says “No bloody screaming!”
And finally an update about my son and a lesson in taking joy in what seems like the smallest of things alongside the ‘big deals’.
My son has now started secondary school and we have gone from a fight to get him into school every day to him jumping out of the car and walking straight into school WITHOUT ME! This is huge, especially considering only a few short weeks ago I was physically walking him into school every day. I so hope this is the start of a new beginning for him. But as I have said it is the small things too, for the first time in his life he is willingly brushing his teeth at least twice a day. He is also beginning to take pride in his appearance, wanting his hair to be cut and making sure he is clean. Maybe he is growing up, maybe we are heading to that dreaded period of his life when girls will start to feature and he will start spending hours in the bathroom like his father does. Either way I am taking it as a win.
Sharon blogs about the ins and outs of living with anxiety and depression; plus the tales of motherhood to her 11-year-old autistic son and her 7-year-old daughter.