When I started school, the focus was shifting from reading and writing to embrace a budding digital world and associated tech industry. My father was an engineering professor and the nascent Internet was “the next big thing” as the Blacksburg Electronic Village in Virginia USA became the first global community with an Internet based community network. I attended the first school district in America to have every school connected to the Internet. In practical terms this meant the inclusion of STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) as instrumental 21st century skills. Of course, I must confess to using this amazing tool to play battle-chess on the Apple IIe – of course only after I finished the algebra work for the day.
Schools continue to move from textbooks to apps and devices. We continue to put these in the hands of our youngest learners. Noting this trend, the World Health Organization has research-based recommendations calling for very limited screen time and the Journal of the American Medical Association reinforces this work. Interestingly, this journal also indicates that quality parenting seems to mitigate the impact of higher amounts of screen time.
PARENTS AND SOCIAL SKILLS DEVELOPMENT
For young children, parents are typically the first type of socialization and knowing the importance of parents engaging in active, inquiry-based activities that are developmentally appropriate. There are numerous organizations that provide parental guidelines. For details, check out this article in the American Journal of Public Health or SCAN for parent friendly tips. Longitudinally, a recent study of over 1500 students from Finland of 1st-6th graders looked at the correlation between the ability of children to maintain friendships when parents are experiencing mental health (specifically depression) issues.
While certainly Battle Chess, IM, FaceTime and Fortnite are one way to connect with peers, there are significant flaws with “virtual social skills” development as the primary means to connect to a meaningful social network.
This type of research underpins the need to ensure that children have appropriate social skills supports both inside and outside of the home as explained by the National Institutes of Health. While certainly Battle Chess, IM, FaceTime and Fortnite are one way to connect with peers, there are significant flaws with “virtual social skills” development as the primary means to connect to a meaningful social network. Research from the Royal Society of Open Science confirms that having large numbers of online friends doesn’t correlate to friends in the brick and mortar (or tree and waterfall) world. Specifically, Dunbar, the author of this article, found that only “27.6% of their Facebook friends could be considered ‘genuine’ (i.e. close) friends.”
SOCIAL SKILLS AT SCHOOL
As a teacher of gifted students and exceptional learners, I’ve had the chance to work in a wide variety of schools in the US and abroad.
As it turns out my Battle-chess days weren’t the best way to make and retain friends in elementary school. However, as social skills become more recognized as developmentally key, the body of research has expanded to give school some guidance as well. This goes beyond group projects to embrace a whole school approach. The National Association of School Psychologists offers several school wide approaches to assist teachers and school administrators to foster inclusive and authentic social skills development in their schools. While there are curricula in a box that work on structured lessons, modalities and plans to address social skills development or specific deficits, being an intentional community often is a good first step in creating an environment that lends itself to social connections. This concept is not a new one in society and community planners have had this idea for decades. For example, one reason that community mailboxes are clustered together is to provide a venue for neighbors to be in the same place at the same time to foster social interaction and a sense of community.
As a teacher of gifted students and exceptional learners, I’ve had the chance to work in a wide variety of schools in the US and abroad. The best structure for increasing social competency can be as simple as the mailbox model. This means providing an environment where interaction between individuals can occur naturally and authentically. One school, in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia took a hard look at their physical surroundings and has, in the last several years changed the focus of what the students see in the halls every day. Gone are the large portraits of principals from the early days of the school and displays that fade into the background as students walk by. Candid photos of their kids engaged socially and academically with each other have replaced these stoic portraits. There is a hallway lined with quotes, dreams and photos of members of the 5th grade class. What this has done is two-fold. Firstly, it has placed value on the children at the school and helped to buoy their self-esteem and sense of belonging. Secondly, it has set up a situation where near-peer mentoring and support can exist and fosters conversations about shared values, dreams, goals and ideas as evidenced by conversations in the hallway, in the cafeteria and in the classrooms.
SOCIAL SKILLS BEYOND SCHOOL
In a world that continues to have increasing mental health diagnosis, especially in young people, it is critical to have meaningful supports for kids both in and outside of school.
Social skills development is more than just an academic or feel good exercise. Research-based programs in and out of school recognize that there are several good reasons for social skills development. A recent article reflects the need for social skills, as deficits in this area can cause loneliness, elevated stress, physical and mental health issues. In a world that continues to have increasing mental health diagnosis, especially in young people, it is critical to have meaningful supports for kids both in and outside of school.
Additionally, this becomes critical in a post-secondary workplace environment. Employers are placing an increasing value on social skills–even in the world of high tech and automation envisioned when I was a student. As Deming demonstrates, in his Harvard University study, that there is an increased demand over the last three decades for social skills in the workplace. This specifically applies to jobs that can’t be automated and thus tend to be higher paying. A young version of myself might have hidden behind the screen in a game of battle-chess, much like Linus clung to his security blanket in the old Charlie Brown cartoons. I recognize now after decades as a teacher of ADHD, 2e and gifted kids that social skills are a key that unlocks doors and opens opportunities that can set the stage for lifelong success and wellbeing.
