Although I have been diagnosed with autism only recently, at the age of 37, I have been autistic all my life. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that exists in the human genes. While scientists around the world are researching for causes to better understand why autism exists, I myself have been researching what it means to be autistic.
I was born in the Netherlands from an Egyptian father and a Dutch mother, in hindsight both of them are autistic.
“I seriously believe that autism is a genetic variation of the human experience. Although it is called a disorder, I strongly feel it should be called a difference. Autism is a different way of being, thinking and experiencing the world compared to the norm.”
What is that so called norm(al) that people talk about? I have asked myself this question throughout my life. Due to this desire of wanting to understand what it feels like to be that assumed ‘normal’,
“I developed a strong interest in many fields ranging from history to psychology and all things that explain human development. In spite of this hunger for knowledge and actually gaining it, it never made the feeling of being different fade away. Slow but steady I had to develop self acceptance by myself.”
As a teenager that process started by rebelling against the norm. Showing my difference and taking pride in it. Although I never gained many friends, those that I had were accepting of me in all my ways.
Now that I am a grown woman and a mother I can see how my journey has influenced my character. Yet underneath the personality lies the inherently autistic traits that give me additional bonuses to flourish in life.
“Autism is a difference that should be celebrated.”
Here are the reasons why I love my autism:
Special Interests
Autistics tend to have a deeply ingrained interest in certain subjects. You may think of stereotype interest like trains for boys and horses for girls, but this is not true. In talking with other autistics I’ve learned that interests are as varied as they are and that they grow and change with the years. What makes it a special interest and why do I love it? It is special because an autist delves deeply into the subject of interest and gains an expert level of knowledge on that subject. Some people with autism have been able to make their special interest a career opportunity.
Hyperfocus
When I am interested in a subject I delve into it with deep passion. I can forget my surrounding and only have eyes and ears for my interest. If I make music or any other creative form of self expression I will focus so intensely on the process of creation that the world outside of it no longer exists. Neurotypicals call this ‘flow’ for neurodivergents it is called hyperfocus. No matter what you call it, neurodivergents have been proven to easily go into and maintain hyperfocus for hours. This can be extremely helpful when creating art, gaining knowledge or simply having fun with your special interest. I do set an alarm clock on my phone to remind me of taking a break to eat and drink.
Hypersensitivity
“A common myth about autistics is that they lack empathy and emotional intelligence. This again is a false claim and the opposite is true. Autistics tend to experience the world intensely and struggle with overstimulation from the outside world.”
Although there is clearly a negative aspect to being hypersensitive there is a huge positive to mention. Autistics who are highly sensitive can feel their surroundings with impeccable clarity. They sense danger before anyone else does. They smell foul food or fire before others notice. They hear a car coming up faster than others do. They see beauty in the color schemes of art. They hear the intricate details of a musical piece with vibrant clarity. They know when their friends are hurt or stressed. All these aspects of hypersensitivity are the beauty of this trait. The key to having this become a treasured and loved aspect of your autism is balans. When overwhelmed with sensory overload take a break and regain energy. Embrace your sensitivity as a gift to both you and the world.
Authenticity
It is said that autistics can’t lie. In all honesty I can lie, however I do not see the upside of this skill. Lying is harmful in all forms that we put them into the world, so I refuse to participate in this kind of behaviour unless my life is in serious danger. When you ask me a question I will give you a direct and straightforward answer, no double or hidden meanings, no puns intended. I walk to the beat of my own drum and I give expression to my opinions and ideas. I do not follow fashion. I have my own style. All these aspects allow others to perceive me as being authentic.
Originality of ideas
Autistics have the skill of seeing details and making connections where others fail to see them. This is a beautiful skill that allows for many original ideas. Due to special interests and the ability to gain expert level knowledge some autistics have been able to make groundbreaking discoveries in many fields of sciences and art.
“I think many autistics are original thinkers that could help the world become a better place if only we are allowed to show ourselves and our original ideas.”
Righteousness
Ever since I was a small child I had an intense awareness of what is right and what is wrong. This sense of righteousness is shared with many autistics and is definitely a trait amongst us. When dealing with unrightful behaviour towards ourselves or towards others we become angry, frustrated and tend to speak up. We fight for what we believe in and will do all in our power to stop the perceived injustice. I think this is what makes us so uniquely good at social justice or like Greta Thunberg, climate justice.
“Autistics can see a better world and we are willing to fight for it without ulterior motives.”
What is your experience with these aspects of autism? Do you recognise them within yourself?
