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Home OCD

My OCD is Worse Than My ADHD

Mel Planet Neurodivergent Admin by Mel Planet Neurodivergent Admin
May 17, 2021
in ADHD, Mental Health, Neurodivergent, OCD
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Let’s jump right in. I have four comorbid disorders – generalized anxiety, depression, ADHD and dermatillomania, aka excoriation disorder, aka chronic skin picking.

These diagnoses were pinned to me at different times of my life. The one that has caused me the most stress, anxiety, self loathing is the skin picking. I was diagnosed with that in my 40s. Dermatologists called it contact dermatitis. Whatever, cowards. If you see it, know what it is, and help treat it, call it out. Nope they’re too afraid to diagnose a patient because they don’t have the proper degree focus. At least talk to patients about seeing a therapist about it.

My ADHD, anxiety and depression have been pretty well treated with acceptance and commitment therapy. I swear by it because I rarely get anxious, my depression is well treated and I successfully managed ADHD without knowing I had it until just a few months ago. What the ADHD diagnosis helped with was bringing my life full circle. I spent the past eight years doing heavy lifting in the self actualization category, so uncovering my neurodiverse brain has created a lot of joy for me. I can easily identify when the poor underdeveloped thing isn’t working quite right, I call it out and celebrate.


“The skin picking, on the other hand, has remained the bane of my human existence. It’s a specter that lives on the OCD spectrum. It’s tricky particularly because of my ADHD. People who pick get a little dopamine and norepinephrine uptake which when you have ADHD is solid gold. And ADHD hyperfocus makes picking really challenging because breaking out of hyperfocus is tough to do for an ADHDer. Not exactly a recipe for success.”

 

I’ve tried fidget toys, taping my fingertips with scotch tape, mindfulness, etc. The only time I stop picking is when I really, REALLY want to get rid of wounds, because I’m tired of seeing the same damn open wound on my skin. I hyperfocus on wound care/treatment – ADHD takes over as does the little willpower I have.

I’ve tried ACT, fidgets, taping my fingers and any method I can think of to keep myself from picking. Sometimes it works, others it doesn’t. 


My arms and legs are scarred to the point of needing laser therapy to correct the damage. My self esteem suffers when I see my marred skin next to someone with beautifully smooth skin. I feel less than because I am unable to control the urges my brain pumps out. Just a fact. 

The worst is when well-meaning people tell me, “just stop picking.” Not that simple, dumbass. Once a boyfriend held me down and forced band-aids on my wounds. It was humiliating and frustrating. I broke up with him later. 

When I thought I might be an alcoholic (I was self medicating the ADHD), I remember the toxic environment in the rooms of AA when people would talk behind my back and assume I was using meth because of my wounds and scars. I scoff when people laud AA as a great support group. But that’s another blog post.

Part of the difficulty that comes with BFRBs is knowing that people are judging your unfairly behind your back

The good news is – good news being relative – that I’m really good at wound care. If anyone I know has an open wound, I know how to treat it, I even can call out when someone will need stitches. First-aid is my jam. So there’s that ray of light.

For neurotypical folks who think they’re helping by making suggestions… please don’t. Don’t ask how we hurt ourselves, don’t suggest we, “just stop,” don’t provide what you believe is help. It’s painful for us and it makes us feel bad about ourselves.

“To my fellow trichs and derms. I get it. I know it’s hard and can be debilitating. What I would suggest is that you are more than your pulling/picking. You are a beautiful, different thinking individual with a lot to offer who happens to like to pull at things.”

Mostly, I want each and every one of you to remember you are not alone.

 

Stacia draws upon her experience as a neurodivergent and her background in business to assist neurodivergents with their business ventures and their ADHD.

Tags: addicted to skin pickingADHDADHD activismadhd adultADHD adult symptomsADHD adultsADHD anxietyADHD anxiety helpADHD as an adultADHD blogADHD bloggerADHD BrainADHD challengesADHD entrepreneurADHD for adultsADHD helpADHD Hyperactive ImpulsiveADHD is not my superpowerADHD neurodivergentADHD neurodiverseADHD Planet Neurodivergentadhd problemsadhd probsADHD sucksADHD womenADHD writeralternatives to skin pickingbarb ocdbfrbbfrb and ocdbfrb causesbfrb disorderbfrb helpbfrb ocdbfrb skin pickingbfrb testbfrb therapistbfrb therapy near mebfrb treatmentcan ocd be curedcan ocd cause anxietycan ocd cause depressioncan ocd go awaydermatillomaniaexcoriationexcoriation adhdexcoriation causesexcoriation definitionexcoriation dermatologyexcoriation disorderexcoriation disorder fingersexcoriation disorder fingesexcoriation disorder symptomsexcoriation disorder treatmentexcoriation meaningexcoriation medical definitionexcoriation neuroticexcoriation ocdexcoriation of skinexcoriation skinexcoriation skin definitionexcoriation skin treatmentexcoriation synonymexcoriation treatmentexcoriation woundhelp with skin pickinghow ocd affects relationshipshow ocd are youhow to stop skin picking on fingersinterventions for skin pickingis ADHD neurodivergentis ADHD neurodiverseis ocd a disabilityis ocd an anxiety disorderis skin picking ocdis skin picking self harmneurodivergenceneurodivergentneurodivergent disordersneurodiverseNeurodiversityObsessive Compulsive DisorderOCDocd and adhdocd and anxietyocd and autismocd behavioursocd brainocd disorderocd explainedocd factsocd fixationocd habitsocd harmocd in adultsocd journalocd lesionocd like disordersocd managementocd meaningocd mental healthocd nightmareocd obsessionsocd or anxietyocd overdriveocd personalityocd resourcesocd ritualsocd signsocd symptomsocd tendenciesocd traitsocd treatmentocd triggersocd typesocd urgesocd vs adhdocd what is itodd symptomsPlanet NDPlanet NeurodivergentPlanet Neurodivergent ADHDskin pickingskin picking and anxietyskin picking and eatingskin picking and hair pullingskin picking and ocdskin picking and relationshipsskin picking anxietyskin picking around nailsskin picking causesskin picking compulsionskin picking conditionskin picking disorderskin picking disorder dsm5skin picking disorder fingersskin picking disorder testskin picking disorder treatmentskin picking excoriationskin picking fidget toyskin picking fingersskin picking habitskin picking helpskin picking mental illnessskin picking ocdskin picking on faceskin picking on fingersskin picking scarsskin picking self harmskin picking the freedom to finally stopskin picking therapistskin picking thumbsskin picking treatmentStacia MomburgStacia Momburg coachStacia Momburg coachingtreatment for excoriationtreatment for excoriation disordertreatment for skin pickingtreatment for skin picking disorderwhat causes bfrbwhat causes skin pickingwhat causes skin picking disorderwhat is excoriation disorderwhat is excoriation of the skinwhat is skin picking calledwhat ocd feels likewhat ocd is really likewhen ocd gets out of control
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