I have a difficult time understanding boredom. My neurotypical friends talk about it all the time—their jobs or relationships are monotonous and that sucks the joy from their day.
“I enjoy the repetitiveness of routine—in fact, I thrive on it. It allows me a strong foundation while I explore the millions of things that make me curious.”
I can research and experiment my way into a more fulfilling life because my unique brain craves knowledge more than it craves chocolate (and I LOVE chocolate).
This means that I’m never bored in a relationship, there is always something to learn about the other person, always a new activity to try or show to see. I become somewhat of an expert on my person and it brings me great joy to bring happiness to them. It also brings me the absolute pleasure of understanding people who have often felt misunderstood.
I have spent all of my life intensely learning and gathering information in a way that is not typical. I get to connect and share what I’ve learned with other people, in hopes that it helps them as it’s helped me. And I get the chance to explore the most meaningful relationships I can for myself.
“My curiosity is my favorite thing about my brain, but it can also be my biggest downfall. Left to its own devices, it runs in the direction of anxiety and doom.”
I can speed into a panic faster than anyone I know. It’s taken nearly three decades to figure out how to harness my curiosity for good instead of anxiety, and I think I’ll be learning for the rest of my life. Like many neurodivergent people, anxiety is like a second language and was a big reason I survived in childhood.
There are certainly challenges that come with having a neurodivergent brain. They deserve to be honored as well, and we will get to many more of them in the coming instalments of these blogposts. For right now, I’m happy to celebrate it in all of its curious glory. My brain is a love-of-learning machine, and I get to come along for the ride. I hope you, too, can appreciate how your brain can lead you to understand things and people that many cannot. You have a superpower, too. And that’s a beautiful thing.
Tiffany is the owner and founder of Neurodiverse Relationships, a coaching business for neurodiverse individuals looking to improve their social connections, dating, and relationships. She is neurodivergent, has an extensive background in Psychology and has spent more than a decade working closely with other neurodivergent folks. Learn more about her authentic, inclusive and practical approach to relationships here.