I’d like to start this article with a statement that I want to be heard loud and clear, so ” for all the people in the back” as everyone says.
To seek support is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness.
Story time.
Early 2019, I decided to shift my platform that at the time was dedicated to mainly sharing motivational messages and wellness to a platform centered around my experience with an ADHD brain. The purpose was to get the ADHD world to stop underestimating themselves and realize the great changes our lives can have when we take our brain health and mental health seriously.
“there were many men out there with ADHD but so few willing to talk about their experiences publicly”
The response was AWESOME. My account started gaining lots of meaningful attention, I was featured on big podcasts in the ADHD world and started connecting with so many.
A few months in, I noticed a consistent pattern – I found that there were many men out there with ADHD but so few willing to talk about their experiences publicly. I even had men messaging me saying that they felt shy to talk about it with their partners, loved ones, etc. – mostly because it made them feel like “less of a man” or “weak”.
Today, as a male with ADHD, I’m going to share with you my 3 favorite reasons as to why getting support is a great idea – it may even be the opposite of what you think.
#1.) Confidence.
One of the best ways any human really can walk through this life is by being able to look at yourself and be proud vs being ashamed. In my experience, this involved being “extra”.
I have had the support of coaches, therapists, monks, friends, and so many people since I have made space to open up my feelings and get vulnerable.
This has provided me confidence in relationships, public speaking, and so many things as I realized from an external point of view how much of my negative self talk was nonsense.
#2.) Self awareness.
I can’t tell you just how great of a benefit self awareness can be. And the good news about self awareness is that you don’t have to get more of it all on your own.
Early on, one of the most helpful things I had in my life was a strength-based approach from my psychiatrist. “You know Marc, you’re really smart!” These sentences went a really long way for me as I felt it was true coming from her, and I was able to believe it more whenever I would engage in something like positive self talk via affirmations.
With that support, I was able to better see the good I have to offer the world which largely influenced my work today.
#3.) Less bottling up, more healing.
This is last, but most certainly not least. One of the best parts of therapy and coaching is, for me, is the ability to share. This, my friends, is incredibly healing.
We ADHD men often struggle with impulsivity, saying things that we don’t mean to our loved ones. For me, one of the most preventative tools is talking about my emotions with someone who will not judge me. The expression prevents what I’ll call my “emotional bottle” from popping, if that makes sense.
At the end of the day, what I want you to know is that seeking support does not by any means make us men “weak” or “less masculine”, in fact, it can be one of the best decisions we make in our entire lives.
With love,
Marc
