I once heard a Buddhist monk tell this to me in a meditation retreat, and it really hit home for me. It hit home for me because it reminded me that to be human, is to be imperfect – and that’s what I want to talk about today.
Dealing with imperfections
In the self help world, there’s no shortage of hacks and tools to improve yourself in different areas. Self help books, blogs, videos – so many, and I most certainly provide similar things to the ADHD world.
And while that can be well and good, one thing I’m not seeing us talking about is learning to forgive yourself.
In the ADHD world, we have a large tendency to engage in self sabotage, comparing ourselves to others in which we are falsely perceiving as perfect, thinking about what we could’ve done better – you name it.
The good news is that like with anything, we can improve and practice self love more. We don’t have to surrender to self sabotage. I’m going to share with you some of the things that I do to throw self sabotage out the window and see the good in who I am.
#1.) Reminding myself of all the good.
There’s nothing too small here.
One of the things that I like to ask myself, especially on the rough days is “what went right?”. When I’m feeling “less than”, I’ll often remind myself of all of the people that I’ve helped, the faces I’ve put smiles too, the work that I’ve put in, so much – and I’m sure there’s plenty for you.
Maybe you got a new job recently. Maybe you held the door open for someone. Maybe you just got up this morning. As stated, nothing is too small, and it’s hard but worth it to explore actively reminding yourself of your good.
#2.) Recognize others are flawed, too.
“Someone can do it better” – one of the nonsense things my self sabotage mind will tell me. I’ll often see others who do the same work as me as perfect, failing to realize that they have struggles, too.
For me, it’s helpful to have an affirmation in place such as “The person I’m comparing myself to has imperfections, too. I’m not alone here.”
#3.) Externalize support.
I’m almost finding this to be a helpful tool in everything. Humans are social creatures. We need to feel loved. Its huge when we can have therapists, spiritual teachers, coaches, good friends, anything that may be helpful for you and will help you see the good in who you are.
Personal growth is really community growth and we should take no shame in seeking support as it doesn’t make us weaker, in fact, it makes us stronger and remember, there’s so much good to who you are and the pursuit of truly knowing that is a journey worth having.