Everyone faces different struggles in their various work, social, school, and even romantic lives, but I have found through my own experiences, and the experiences of my neurodivergent friends and family members, that we face some incredibly peculiar struggles.
Luckily, there are things neurodivergants can do to help ourselves and those around us improve.
Some overlapping symptoms of my ADHD and depression are that I can often feel quite irritable and anxious, particular surrounding things that I am not motivated to complete.
I feel annoyed with myself for not being able to “just do it.”
I get irritated with others pushing me to complete these tasks without knowing that I’m trying to climb the wall of awful.
One solution that I’ve found works for me, is making a check list.
Not only does that help me to remember what needs to be done, but it also shows others that I am making an effort to complete the tasks ahead of me. I am lucky that I don’t have to push myself to complete a specific number of tasks on the list each day, as long as I’m making progress. You may not have that luxury, in which case, I recommend using a Priority Matrix.
The Priority Matrix
This can be done a few different ways, but the simplest way to get started is to divide a piece of paper in to four sections labeled:
Do Now
Schedule & Do ASAP
Delegate or Delete
Ignore.
This helps you to prioritize what is most important to complete, giving you a focus point for the day.
Your priorities may be dictated by yourself or your boss and coworkers. Either way, knowing what needs to be done in a day is an excellent way to get started, regardless of your motivation to do those tasks.
Another important thing to remember is that we cannot control the things around us, only our reactions to them.
As difficult as it may be sometimes, it helps to remember one of the tenants of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy: everyone is doing the best they can at any given time.
This doesn’t mean people are incapable of wrongdoing; it also doesn’t mean people are incapable of growth. If you find yourself getting upset or irritated by something happening, try to remove yourself from the situation, even if it’s just taking a quick bathroom break to do some breathing exercises.
Breathing to Relax
Relaxing breath is a great way to help re-center and focus yourself, so you don’t get too angry or upset by something you have no control over.
Take a deep breath in for a count of 4
Hold that breath as best you can for a count of 7
Then breath out slowly for a count of 8
You can repeat this pattern as many times as you need to feel better.
There are so many more techniques than the examples I’ve listed here.
It may take some time to find the solutions that work best for your situation, so keep trying.
Write down how you feel after completing tasks or trying a new technique. Do you think it helped the situation? Did it help people around you understand better how they can help you?
Remember: not every technique will work for everyone, so writing down how each technique worked for you is important to helping you remember what techniques will potentially work for you in the future.
