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Home Anxiety

Anxiety is my Compass

November 11, 2020
in ADHD, Anxiety, Neurodivergent
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I’ll let you in on a little secret – I used to ignore my anxiety. 

I was the girl in class with tons of anxiety symptoms. This is what class was like for me:

Such a familiar depiction of how anxiety expresses in teenage girls with ADHD

Not only were all of those thoughts running through my mind but my hands were usually shaking, I was always sweating to the point where I had to wear certain clothing to hide my sweat stains AND it wasn’t uncommon for my face to be flushed. I didn’t know it at the time, but some of my symptoms that I thought were anxiety were actually ADHD symptoms. Another thing that I didn’t know was that I didn’t have to sit with these symptoms day in and day out. 

 

Fast forward many years of dealing with unmanaged anxiety and things got to be too much for me. After years of struggling I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. You may have heard me say this before but I’ll say it again: my ADHD diagnosis changed everything. I enrolled in the ADD Coach Academy and took their simply ADHD and personal transformation courses. I started to get to know myself and my ADHD.

“Treating my ADHD lowered the intensity of my anxiety symptoms. When I started to pay attention and get to know my ADHD I also started to pay attention to my anxiety symptoms.”

 

 

It’s that classic saying: which came first? The chicken or the egg? In my case, which came first? ADHD or Anxiety? There’s no sure way to ever tell but my guess is that my ADHD came first! It seems that my anxiety was actually one of my coping skills for my ADHD. So, as much as I hate my anxiety, I also love it. My anxiety is like my ADHD’s sidekick. My anxiety lets my ADHD know when it’s forgetting something, when it is running late or when it is just plain old having trouble organizing itself. My anxiety is/was my energizer bunny! When I listen to it, my anxiety is also my compass.

 

 

“My anxiety tells me lots of things when I listen to it.” 

 

Ever since I was diagnosed with ADHD, I have started to connect with my body. This was very new to me and it was also pretty scary. It was like I was being introduced to my body for the first time. All these symptoms that I had ignored for years were screaming at me for attention. Like I said, it was very scary and not to mention overwhelming! I started to learn that my body was sending me signals about how I was feeling. I started to trust my body and let my mind start to connect and work with it. Since I have started to work with my body, I have started to listen to my anxiety symptoms rather than ignore them. My anxiety tells me lots of things when I listen to it. 

 

What do I do for my anxiety?

  • I talk to my anxiety

Have you ever heard of fight, flight and freeze? These are our bodies response to imminent danger. This is also what I have noticed my body is doing when I have strong anxiety symptoms to everyday things! So I have started to tell myself “Alyssa, you are not in imminent danger! You are okay!”. Being rational and talking to my symptoms helps me so much. It gives me a second to breathe and tell my body that I don’t need to fight, flight or freeze to this non-threatening situation!

  • I breathe

I noticed that I am not always breathing. This sounds crazy, right?! I’m often holding my breath or taking very shallow breaths. I make sure to practice taking slow deep breaths from my stomach. I make sure not to put too much pressure on myself by making my breaths “perfect”. I put my hand on my stomach and feel my stomach rising and falling. It’s important to note that this doesn’t actually help me when I am in a state of panic (the above point helps me in that situation) but it helps me to relax and de-stress during the day.

  • I journal

Journaling is my best tool for decoding my anxiety. I basically just brain dump my feelings onto paper and re-read it to understand what’s going on. I can usually find clues and “aha” moments just by writing my feelings down onto paper and getting them out of my head.

  • I talk to friends to process my thoughts

A lot of us with ADHD are verbal processors. This means that we process information by speaking.

  • I listen to my body signals:

    • Heart racing

    • Sweating

    • Hands shaking

    • Spotty/blurry vision

    • Blushing

All of these are signs that I am not happy or comfortable with something. I have done a lot, and I mean a lot of investigating and self-work. I can now usually identify what my anxiety is telling me. And when I can’t identify what my anxiety is saying, I turn to my journal to figure out what’s going on. In my opinion this is extremely important! By decoding and understanding one of my experiences I can decode and understand many of my past and future experiences. By understanding and decoding my anxiety I can then act and process moments and situations that I am uncomfortable with a heck of a lot faster and sometimes even in the very moment that it’s happening!

 

I am not saying that I am blessed to have anxiety but I will say that I am grateful for it. Since I am usually slow to process situations thanks to my ADHD, I am glad that my anxiety tells me that I am uncomfortable or unhappy. 

What does your anxiety tell you? Do you listen to it?

 

Alyssa Shaw delivers ADHD coaching sessions to help you regain control of your life and target the moon! Read more about her work HERE. 

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