Hello Everyone –
I’m Happy and I’m a new contributor to Planet Neurodivergent. I run a blog called Happy Hyper Shiny…. Well, at this point I have a blog but I don’t get to post as often as I want to. I try and stay consistent on Instagram.
And isn’t that funny… stay consistent. Obviously, I have a hard time with that. Consistency is not a strength of mine. But let me back up a moment.
I’m a 41 year old mom of 2 little girls who most likely have ADHD as well. I was diagnosed at 16 but didn’t really understand the disorder until about 37, a year after my dad died. I was looking for a therapist and I found one that specialized in ADHD. So great, two birds with one stone. I wanted to get some help anyway, so it seemed like a great place to start.
My mind was blown at what I learned.
“I was holding onto so much shame for things I didn’t know I didn’t have control over. What I thought was being stupid and having bad character was really my brain working in a way that is not the ‘norm’.”
I do want to say I hate the term “disorder.”
“I don’t believe our brains are broken. I just believe they are different, and society has been trying to force us into the same bucket as other types of brains and then telling us ours doesn’t work right.”
It’s a serious bull in a china shop situation. We are too big, too loud, too weird and we are breaking the fragile porcelain that is stacked in piles all around us. Imagine that bull sitting still and a fly lands on it’s nose. It tickles and he wants to take his tail and whack it off his face. But if he does, he knows he’s going to break a teacup. So, he sits and his skin is on fire and all prickly. He starts to sweat and breath heavy. Next thing he knows he’s having a full-blown panic attack and crushing everything in sight.
His size isn’t the issue. It’s not his horns or twitchy ears. It’s the environment he’s been asked to sit in.
“You can’t put a bull in a china shop and expect him to not fail. It’s just not possible.”
With that amazing analogy said…. (I don’t know where I come up with these things. Genius!!!) we all still must enter the china shop now and then. We need to have a way to get through from one side to the other without breaking the china.
And that is where I think our greatest strength comes in to make up for what are perceived as weaknesses. And what is that you ask???
CREATIVITY of course!!!
Our amazing brains are always moving and shaking and working and coming up with amazing things (uhm, hello Virgin Atlantic and iPhone!). Besides doing award winning activities, we can apply that creativity to our everyday actions. You just need to thing about things differently.
“First, you need to accept that you have ADHD and that it’s not a death sentence. Once you do that, you can adjust your life and create your own hacks to make life easier.”
And these aren’t hard things… it’s about accepting that you must do them.
For instance, if I’m out to dinner with my husband and asks me to call the plumber on Monday because he is going to be in meetings all day, I immediately email myself at work, so I know I’ll see the email and won’t forget.
I have a GPS tracker on my keys. My iWatch has been a savior as well for finding my phone and using it as a timer to keep me on track. In the morning I set 3-minute timers. If I get off track organizing my closet instead of getting dressed, the timer reminds me to focus on getting out the door on time.
And dopamine… how do you get a dopamine hit in the middle of the day without going for the Twix??? I color for 10 minutes or take a walk if it’s nice out.
Now, these things seem obvious and not very creative. But when you are in denial that you can’t rely on your brain to act in the manner you need it to, these tricks don’t even cross your mind. And once you get out of your own way, you have the freedom to create the impossible. Accept that you need help whether from yourself or from others and allow your brain to do what it does best. Dream.
I’d love to hear your ADHD hacks. Tell me how you are improving your life through creativity!
With love, Happy
First off, I like the term "disorder", because although my ADHD hasn’t been as disabling for me as others, I feel like there’s a different order to my brain than a lot of people’s: not a "disorder" as in "chaos", but a "disorder" as in "different order." And yes, when I’m overwhelmed it does feel like chaos! I have coping mechanisms which vary in health, because that’s the life Iive and although I know it could be better, I’ve come to terms with the fact that not everything in my life is my fault/responsibility. True, my responses are (response-ability!); but I am not God- I didn’t choose a lot of my stress. All I can do is be responsible for my choices- and that’s a 24/7/374.25 (cuz leap year!) job!
Hi Jerry. I never thought about the term "disorder" that way. I like yours much better. The medical version of it makes me feel like something is broken in my brain that needs to be fixed. Do I need help? Yes. But only because I’m trying to operate in a world design for someone else’s brain. And it thrills me to no end that you feel that you are responsible for our choices. So many people miss that part. "I didn’t have a choice!" Yes you do. You may not like your options but in the end you make a choice. Also, i’m stealing that leap year thing… I love it! Thank you for reading and commenting!
Hello hello,
lovely helpful article . I’m not a fan of the word disorder, feels negative which shouldn’t be the case. i use similar hacks to you, have had to change my life to stop getting meltdowns . Nearly caused a divorce, hanging in there and will not be beaten. Being away from the hustle and bustle, surrounded by the natural world soothes me. I’ve started making photos with a rorschach twist that sooth me and seem to have the same effect on others, which is handy.
Keep being open and honest and funny, not always easy but the more I see articles like yours the more strength I get when it all goes dark! Thankyou thankyou and this is my instagram if you fancy a look- frasethatsways
Hello Fraser! Thank you so much for your comment. I find being open and honest is the easiest way to survive. And it’s not just honest in general, it’s honest with myself. I can accept and love myself unconditionally when I do that. And then I can really allow myself to take care of myself the way I need to be the best person I can be. I do it for my children because I am their greatest advocate. Why do we not do that for ourselves? It makes us better people, better parents…. It’s important. I will def check out your instagram. I hope you have some of those paintings on there! Megan