Do you ever feel overwhelmed by life? You’re not alone. I know it well. For me, overwhelm is when almost anything becomes too much to handle. It can be the thought of work, social engagements, or even having to drive through traffic for a much-needed dentist appointment. It’s this feeling of building stress and inner tension where you feel the world is crashing down, feeling more problematic and heavier by the day.
When life gives you a lousy hand of cards, it can take you to a place where your mind is full of thoughts and emotions. Any further stimuli are too much, you lack efficiency to be able to process and manage anymore.
Sometimes, a series of external hard events or one major trauma can trigger someone to feel overwhelmed. Or for some people, pre-existing conditions like ADHD, PTSD or depression can make them more prone to it. When life gives you a lousy hand of cards, it can take you to a place where your mind is full of thoughts and emotions. Any further stimuli are too much, you lack efficiency to be able to process and manage anymore.
I like to consider the body to have a fuel tank. Your tank may only sit at ¼ full each morning, for whatever reason. It will get filled up again, but you need to give yourself time. In the meantime, while your body’s resources are low, you may want to consider the strategies I use.
Embrace the unpredictable.
Remember what you can control and what you can’t.
If you are like me, you may hate it when your day doesn’t go to plan. If you know you’re meeting someone at 2 pm and that gets changed, it can change your entire mood and day. This rigidity can add to anxiety. If something is noteworthy, plan it early in the day, so the likelihood of something throwing you off is reduced. Remember what you can control and what you can’t. You can control being at the airport for your 9 am flight, but you can’t control if it gets delayed by two hours. While everyone else gets angry, conserve your energy, take a seat and use the time to read, write, or whatever you find beneficial.
Loosen the rules.
Anxiety can be conflicting thoughts. Your conscious may be thinking one thing, but your subconscious has other ideas. Your to-do list while it looks great, might be too much right now adding to the inner tension. Try not having a list and see what you feel like doing. There can be something magical about giving yourself freedom. You’ll gravitate to what your body needs. You may even find it to be your most productive day. When you open yourself up to possibility and free yourself of rules, the body can relax.
You are enough now.
The world is tough enough as it is without you beating yourself down too.
Beating yourself up for not being better takes you further away from calmness. You don’t have to be anything right now. If something terrible happened to you, your reaction is likely a normal reaction. It would be abnormal to be happy and be over it. Sometimes we think something is wrong with us when there isn’t. Feeling ‘bad’ can become destructive if it leads to guilt. Ask yourself, ‘what do I feel remorseful about?’. This little question can be insightful. If you haven’t anything to feel remorseful about, then your guilt and feeling of badness are unlikely true. Don’t get fixated in the self-improvement process and the end goal. Allow yourself to be compassionate in the now and remember you are doing well. The world is tough enough as it is without you beating yourself down too.
Practice breath work.
Changing your breathing pattern influences how you feel. When you are anxious or stressed, you will tend to breathe fast and shallow. This puts your body into a flight or fight response or the sympathetic nervous system, i.e., the nervous system that is great for if you had to run away from a tiger. The fight or flight response kicks in when short term stress appears. If you are chronically stressed your body may be stuck in fight or flight. This can wear the body down over time, creating illness.
If you purposely slow down your breathing, your body will shift gears into the rest and digest nervous system, also known as the parasympathetic nervous system(1). This not only created calmness but can also boost mood to help with conditions like depression, anxiety and PTSD (2). The great thing about breathing exercises is that you can do it anywhere.

The 4-7-8 breathing method is one that I find useful in giving me instant relief. You may find others that work for you. To do the 4-7-8 breathing:
– inhale through your nose for 4 counts,
– then hold the breath in for 7 counts and
– then release it in 8 counts.
Repeat at least three times.
The long breath out forces you to slow down your breathing which naturally slows the heart rate down inducing relaxation.
Overcoming overwhelm is possible. Take a step back and focus on the now rather than the big picture. Narrow your focus. Let go of the expectations for yourself, the bar may be too high at the moment and adding unnecessary pressure. You don’t need to be happy all the time, aim for a sprinkle of happiness instead. Get through the day, and if you only get the minimal done each day, that is perfectly okay. Practice kindness as you would others to yourself.
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